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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932542">"you're safe, i won't hurt you,"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Flashbacks, Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intimacy, NOT COMPLETE NUDITY, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Platonic Cuddling, Self-Harm, but being in ur underpants is still a form of nudity, it's never explicitly stated but the subtext is very heavy-handed, non-sexual nudity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:28:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>ranboo is a traumatized kid. he copes as best he can. someone was bound to find out eventually.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ranboo &amp; Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>363</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"you're safe, i won't hurt you,"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic deals with the aftermath of being abused as a child and not remembering much of it later in life. it deals with fear of intimacy and flashbacks triggered by intimacy with another person. please be wary if these topics may be triggering to you.<br/>anon'd for a reason. i'm not public with my trauma to anyone who knows me. if you recognize my writing style, i'm fine. don't worry. and also no you don't.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ranboo has a dagger, a beautiful dirk dagger with a jeweled hilt and intricate metalwork. It was a gift from Phil, back when he'd arrived at the arctic with the scraps of his belongings. The blade was intended to protect him, enchanted with sharpness and mending and as much magic as could be forged into such a small weapon. </p><p>It cuts his skin more than that of any monster's. He thinks Phil would be disappointed if he ever found out. But, bad as his memory is, Ranboo isn't <em>stupid</em>. He can't afford to be. Phil won't find out. </p><p>He sheaths the knife and sets it aside. Ranboo bandages the bloody mess that is his hips and thighs. The cuts sting against the gauze. It'll be days before it's healed enough to not sting at the slightest movement. He smiles. The pain is grounding and it's nice to paint his skin with marks he chooses. </p><p>He still has work to attend to. His boxers tug at the bandaging when he so much as shifts his hips. It's going to be hell, but he'll endure. This isn't the worst pain he's dealt with. And his crutches take much of the weight off his legs, anyways. </p><p>Tending his farm is simple. He pulls weeds and sprinkles fertilizer around the base of his plants. The green leaves are soft in his hands and he can't wait for the first harvest. Maybe he'll celebrate it. </p><p>Ranboo harvests some herbs. Enough to dry and gift to Techno, as Techno only has so many spices. Garlic is good but Ranboo is getting tired of rosemary. He wonders what Phil and Techno will do with the parsley and oregano he hangs up to dry for them, or the tiny patch of saffron he has growing in his shack. </p><p>He has training with Techno. Ranboo was never good with a traditional sword, so he's learning to fight with scythe blades at the bottom of his crutches. The piglin drags him from his garden when the sun reaches its zenith, pushing a leather breastplate and bracers upon him. It takes a moment for Ranboo to armor up. </p><p>Ranboo wields the practice crutches Techno bestows upon him. He swings at the dummy, balance shaky but blows landing true. His knees wobble and he does his best not to hyperextend them. </p><p>He knows his form is poor. </p><p>"Let me adjust your form," Technoblade says. He steps closer to Ranboo. </p><p>Ranboo nods. Techno's hands push his torso down at the shoulders, draw his arms up gently to a better position. His crutches are steadier in his hands. </p><p>Ranboo winces when Techno pushes his hips forward, a gasp escaping him involuntarily as pain lances through his shredded skin. And now Techno is suspicious, and it really wasn't Phil he had to worry about finding out about his little habit. He finds his hands shaking. </p><p>"Ranboo?" Techno says, pulling his hands away. The pain ebbs to a familiar throb. "Ranboo, that shouldn't hurt." </p><p>"It's probably just the cold," Ranboo says. Shit excuse, he knows, because joint pain works differently than that. Phil had explained it to him, once, while packing ice against Ranboo's hips and knees in an attempt to help ease the pain. </p><p>"Can I check your hips?" Techno asks. </p><p>Ranboo swallows the lump in his throat. He knows Techno means well, but the idea of taking his pants off around an adult is terrifying. Still, he'll be grounded from most activities if he doesn't let Techno see. </p><p>"I get to keep my boxers on?" he bargains. He prays he'll be allowed that dignity. </p><p>"Of course, I don't wanna see you naked," Techno says. A little tension drains from Ranboo's shoulders. Not enough. Never enough. </p><p>He still has to deal with Techno learning he slices his skin open on the regular, but he thinks he can do that. Hopefully the piglin won't be too mad. </p><p>Techno has him leave the training gear outside. The cabin is warm, much warmer than his shack. He breathes in the soft pine and mint scent of Phil's homemade incense. </p><p>Techno's bathroom is clean. He spots a small bottle of preening oil and a comb far too thin for Techno's bristly mane. Must be Phil's, he thinks. The two seem to share a lot of things. He wonders if Techno cares for Phil like he cares for Tubbo. </p><p>"Alright, strip," Techno says. Ranboo pulls his jacket off so it doesn't restrict his movement and hangs it on the open towel hook. </p><p>Techno watches as his shaky hands fiddle with his belt long enough to get it open, pulling it from around his hips before it joins his jacket. His fingers tremble against the button of his pants, and under Techno's unblinking gaze he can't will himself to go further. </p><p>"Can-can you -- I'm sorry, this is really awkward, can you maybe," Ranboo stammers, somehow managing to gesture with his hand in a way Techno understands. The piglin turns his back to Ranboo. Ranboo takes a deep breath and tries again. </p><p>Hee unbuttons his pants and unzips them and pushes them halfway down his thighs, plenty for Techno to see what he does to himself. His tail unwinds, free of its confinement. His hands shake. </p><p>"I, uh," he stutters out. </p><p>"Sit on the counter and I'll turn around," Techno instructs. </p><p>Ranboo hops up onto the counter, tail lashing anxiously. "Okay," he says. Techno turns around slowly, giving Ranboo ample time to blush deeply and stare at the floor. This is so awkward. </p><p>"That's quite a bit of bandaging there," Techno says, gesturing to the shitty wraps that snake under Ranboo's boxers. "Is someone hurting you?" </p><p>Memories flash in ranboo's mind. Hands on his skin, salt on his lips, painpainpain throbbing between his thighs. He shakes his head. The flashes are too dull to be anything but long past. He can do this, right now. </p><p>"Okay. I'm gonna remove the bandages to look, and then I'm gonna redress them," Techno says. He's talking to Ranboo like he's a toddler. Ranboo appreciates it. </p><p>Ranboo flinches when a large hand settles on his thigh, gently sliding up the outside of it. He knows Techno notices how the touch makes him press his legs together. He hopes Techno doesn't ask. </p><p>"You're safe, I won't hurt you," Techno says, and the reassurances do nothing to the anxiety rotting in Ranboo's belly. Maggots make his stomach churn with nausea. </p><p>Techno's claws hook under the gauze wrappings, tearing the delicate bandage open. Ranboo squeezes his eyes shut, telling himself it's not fabric being torn. His face presses into something soft and warm, and he relishes in the scrap of comfort. </p><p>The bandages are pulled from his skin slowly. He feels himself shaking as the hand pulls his boxers up a tad, enough to see the extent of the damage he does to himself. Something is whimpering. The fabric against his face grows damp, and he realizes tears are leaking from his eyes. </p><p>Another hand comes to rub at his back, circling between his shoulder blades. "You're okay," Techno says, voice rumbling against Ranboo's cheek. "You're okay." Ranboo realizes he's got his face pressed against Technoblade's shoulder, and he's whimpering into the man's shirt. </p><p>Techno's fingers press on the cuts gently, testing which are fresh and which are not. Ranboo bites his lip at the contact, getting a mouthful of fabric as a sob wracks his body. The hand is removed from his skin as quickly as it had gotten there. </p><p>"Okay. I'm done. I have to put some regen on it and wrap it, and then it's done," Techno murmurs into Ranboo's hair. Ranboo trembles against Techno, tail lashing wildly. </p><p>Techno's hand is gentle as regen spills onto Ranboo's thigh, massaging the sparkling liquid into his skin gently. Ranboo's hand snakes to Techno's cape, squeezing a fistful of fabric hard enough to hurt. His other hand digs into his arm. G-d, he's so scared. </p><p>And then Techno is taping gauze to Ranboo's leg, and it's over. Techno hugs Ranboo fully, shifting him so his head rests on Techno's other shoulder. </p><p>"You're doing so good," Techno murmurs. "Just one more side, and we're done." </p><p>Ranboo sobs again as Techno's hand begins to tear into his bandaging, crying openly into Techno's shoulder as the gauze rips. Haze creeps into the corners of his vision, shadows of time long past dancing in his mind. He doesn't want this. He's frozen in fear. </p><p>"<em>No,</em>" he sobs, "'m <em>sorry</em>." </p><p>Techno's hand rubs circles into his back. He hears a low rumble that sounds kind of like a purr. "You're safe, Ranboo," Techno says. "You're safe." </p><p>The gauze peels from his leg and Techno inches his boxers up. Ranboo sobs out an incoherent plea, hands fisted in Techno's shirt, shaking violently on the counter. Fingers press into his wounds, testing the cuts, and Ranboo wails. </p><p>"No, no," he cries, shaking. The hand pulls away and he hears the potion being opened once more. "'M sorry, 'm sorry," he begs. </p><p>"You're almost done. I'm so proud of you," Techno soothes. Cold liquid drips onto his thigh, massaged in by a warm hand. Ranboo sobs, clutching Techno's shirt hard enough to put pinprick tears in it. </p><p>Then the hand is gone, replaced by gauze and tape. Ranboo cries. Techno's arms surround him, pulling him close. Techno runs hot, the warmth comforting to Ranboo's cold Enderborn temperature. He trembles still, arms tucked close to his chest, legs half splayed to one side. </p><p>"Come on, let's get you dressed again," Techno says. He pulls Ranboo off the counter, supporting most of his weight. Ranboo's still clinging to Techno, unable to get his hands to unclench. </p><p>"I -- I can't," he breathes, tears slipping down his face. His skin blisters beneath the tearstains. </p><p>"It's okay," Techno says, pressing his face against Ranboo's head. </p><p>Techno pulls his pants up for him, helping him tuck his tail around his thigh and buttoning them up for him. Ranboo's face burns with shame, he doesn't remember being unable to dress himself ever. </p><p>Techno's hands shift, and suddenly Ranboo is being carried, one arm under his knees and the other cradling him to Techno's chest. He cries into the fabric, too embarrassed to care. </p><p>Techno sits with him on the couch, pulling his cloak over Ranboo like a blanket. It smells like smoke and berries, the same way Techno does, and it's warm and comforting. The weight chases the past away. </p><p>Techno rocks gently in place, humming a tune. Ranboo cries until he's out of tears, leaving him sniffling against Techno's chest. His face burns and he knows he'll have more scars running down his cheeks. For now, he lets Techno soothe him, a hand grooming his hair and an arm cradling him close.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading ig. the end bit is less venty and more g-d i wish someone would hold me and tell me i'm safe when i'm stuck in the past.<br/>again, if you recognize my writing style, i'm okay and also no you don't.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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